it’s 10:45. i’m at the Barnes residents. Dog sitting. Skyy. She is a wonderful dog. I mean this dog is so polite. Im sitting on there couch up in the loft. All Alone. No body is here but me, I have been alone since sunday not having much contact with the outside world. The TV is on mute and has been for hours as i use the characters on Law and Order as company so I dont get to lonely. Its super quiet, My analog wrist watch clicks and the fish tank thumps with bubbles. This is the perfect atmosphere for thinking.
Tonight I have a lot on my mind. Most of it I’m not comfortable putting on the world wide web. I Have nothing to hide but reading a blog sometimes… It’s just hard to get the context, you know?
Today I finished a book and I have been reading so much lately that I am craving buying another book right now.
My Feet are hot. As a diabetic going on 12 years with the disease, they (doctors) told me I would start to lose feeling in my feet and if i wasn’t careful then they might have to cut them off. I have great feeling in my feet THANK YOU VERY MUCH, they just get dry and are always hot. I dont know.
Sometimes its just hard to keep your chin up. Its hard to be the positive one and keep looking at the bright side. Its hard to be confident and it seems the world is out to destroy us. and the largest most dangerous weapon is our judgment of ourselves. Were getting old, fat, bald, pale, wrinkly, tired, lazy, and not good looking. Im running through red lights, forgetting my multiplication tables, dropping stuff, stubbing my toe, waking up with back aces and all the sudden being disturbed by scary movies. If it weren’t for my self-esteem I wonder what kind of guy i would be. different thats for sure.
For us dreamers it seems there is always some one better than us at what we do, and that person who is better is always a jerk, well most of the time.
And there are so many things you want to change about yourself and you wonder am I ever going to change? Is taking a stand even worth it?
This is the point were you decided it’s time to go to sleep before you hurt yourself. Get in those pajamas you got for Christmas from your granny that still have the tags, fix yourself some cereal and just go to bed with “Sigur Ros” on your iPod at a low level. Trust me, its best to end the day early and start tomorrow right.
pleasant dreams Dreamers.
Dream on.